124. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

There have been so many studies that show learning music helps children's understanding of reading and math. My kids are lucky to have piano lessons, but a lot of kids don't have that experience. Remo has a free drum circle for children in Studio City every Saturday morning but they were generous enough to come to the girls' school and provide the program to the whole second grade. I was lucky enough to help out.

As we were setting up I thought, "This is crazy." We are handing 125 kids drums and hoping that they may listen to instructions. I have spent enough time with 8 year olds... but I was so amazed to see most of the children focused and engaged in the event. The leader of the circle taught the kids hand signals so they would follow the rhythms, speed up, slow down, pound louder, and so on.

There were only two children not paying attention and both of them I know well. They are two girls infamous for their lack of focus and constant chatter in the classroom, gym class, dance class, and girl scout meetings. Both are generally nice kids, but annoying to others trying to learn. At the drum circle I refocused the girls on the lesson and event several times and eventually separated them when my suggestions were ignored. They continued to wave and laugh at each other across the yard and sadly could not bring themselves to participate in the event. But at least they were not disrupting the other children after I separated them.

The separation didn't last long. The mother of one of the children, and a friend of mine, decided they should be together. I explain what the problem was (like I have so many times before) and the mother's response was, "They are just having fun!" That is always her response. Yes, the drum circle was fun. Yes, kids should have fun. But they also need to be able to focus long enough that they can learn and not bother other children. To laugh off her child's bad behavior and dismiss it as "fun" is hugely problematic. The child is way behind in school and no where near the level of her peers socially. As the child grows, the problem grows - she has now learned to manipulate her mother into getting anything she wants and does little for herself.

I think there is nothing that can be done to fix the situation. This mother just won't listen to others' advice and the child loses more friends each year. I really feel sorry for the child... when she is finally on her own she will have so much to learn.